A Letter to My Son on Mother's Day
My sweet Elijah,
Our second Mother's Day is just around the corner! Before you came along, I took advantage of every (and I mean EVERY) chance to celebrate "me". You know your Mom loves to be the center of attention! But, I can't take all the credit on this day. This holiday wouldn't be celebrated if it wasn't for you. Mother's Day isn't just about me. It's about you. Us.
This day makes me reflect back on when you were in my belly for those 9 long months. Growing and kicking. Oh, what I would give to feel those "butterflys" and kicks from your strong little feet. I could definitely do without that thing you did where you would sit up against my bladder and cause me to make 43737326 daily trips to the restroom though...
I think back on those maternity leave days, and how I basically had to learn to care for you on my own. Those days were fun, but they were really scary. It took my weeks to gain the courage to take you out of the house, even on a neighborhood stroller ride. I was so scared of doing something wrong. Knowing that your life and well-being was in my hands. But somewhere along the way I learned, we gained a routine, and things became easier....
I remember when it was time for me to go back to work. I cried, and couldn't even think about the fact that you would spend your days with someone else caring for you. The first day I dropped you off at school, I literally sobbed all day at my desk. But things got better. We got used to our "new norm", and we were all happy.
Ever since then, you have slowly (but surely) grown up before my eyes. A year ago, you couldn't even crawl yet, and now I am chasing you through playscapes at the park, and am constantly on my toes (but really, don't forget Mommy likes to sit down every once in awhile...). Last summer, you had just started solid foods. Now, I can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that you can polish off 2 slices of pizza, half a cucumber, and an entire glass of milk in one sitting, and are still asking for "mo". You are laughing, you are talking, you are running, and your little personality is developing more than ever. You are so brave, and adventurous. So sweet, and so genuine. And you definitely let us know when you are upset!
There are days, though, that you really test my limits - days that I'm tired, unenergetic, and just downright stressed. Your Grandpa always reminds me that even though you're still little, and things may be hard right now, that I need to stay grateful. Grateful for those strong, moving legs of yours, even when you run away from me and I've told you not to. Grateful for your mobile arms and hands, even when you continuously make messes in the bathroom cabinets, causing me to clean up over and over again. Grateful for your voice and developing vocabulary, even when you cry and scream when you're not getting your way. Grateful for your eyesight, even when you throw food all over the clean floor that I just swept. And grateful for that precious, beating heart, that keeps you healthy, living, and fuels that fiery personality of yours.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think I was capable of "loving" the way that I love you. You literally keep my heart beating, my ambitions fueled, and my mind hopeful. There is nothing in this world that I'd rather be than your Mommy, Elijah. And I will never want or need for anything more.
Happy Mother's Day, my love,